We can't help you with all of these, but we can help you with taking the lender stress away.
You plan your new home, talk to builders, get council approval, sort your loan, get started. But after getting started is when it can get really frustrating with your loan, because you and the builder need to arrange for progress claims during the build. When you signed your building agreement you agreed to the builder being paid in 4 or 5 payments during construction.
When the lender gets the progress claim some will check the schedule of works to the contract, and then ask a valuer to go and do an inspection to ensure that the works have been done. Each of these inspections (up to 4) cost money and mean waiting until the valuer has gone out, taken their notes and photos, written their report, sent it to the lender. Waiting for the lender to read it all and then agree to process the payment.